Click "read more" to embark on the epic tale of reviving a bike in an evening!

It finally is starting to feel like spring, which means ever since I saw there was no snow for about a foot on the side of the road I was aching to dig my bike back up. Normally this would be no ordeal I would drag it out of the shed, make sure my brakes still sort of work then pump the tires a little and speed off. Unfortunately however, this year that was not going to be the case. My current bike is a bitchin' mid seventies Raleigh cruiser bike which was kept in gorgeous shape in a barn until it was passed on to me a while back.

Me and my Grandpa with the bike.

After sitting in a barn for 30 years it took a little clean up and tune up but it was pretty much 100% within a day. Even the cool headlamp with generator built into the wheel worked! There was a glorious several week period where the bike worked great, looked great, and rode like a dream. Shortly after however, one cloudy dreary day the poor creature was thrown on a car roof for brief transport. The driver forgot that it was up there and accelerated far to fast after a set of lights and the unthinkable happened. I can not bear to describe the grisly scene so I hired an artist at great expense to recreate it.

guhhhh... horrifying
After this tragedy the chrome headlight, and much of the seat were smashed, only two speeds could still be worked, and both wheels somewhat bent and much of the bike just slightly bent out of shape to the point that I could just pull enough of a Frankenstein job to make it semi rideable for the remaining summer months. Then winter came. Though I thought it was safe in the shed it rusted considerably. Upon taking it out of storage today I also noticed that both tires were flat, and upon inflation one had a leak. I also found the gears to not want to change at all. I was up for the challenge to make this thing work. Having no headlight and desperately wanting to get a ride in tonight, I was frantically working against the sun. Heres my process in pictures, with brief explanations.

Removing the flat tire.

My materials to try to create a makeshift patch. (note that the jar is filled with TEA, my mother can vouch for this.)

I attached a small piece of the exercise band using regular stationary rubber cement, having heard its the same as in bike repair kits.

I put some electrical tape around the edges because they were threatening to peel up.

Just cause it looks cooler, and for good measure I covered the rest of the patch in tape, and Viola! My hopefully functional free makeshift patch.

With the tube back in place its the moment of truth as I'm about to pump it back up.

Success! It's holding air just as well as the other tire! Now just to make the gears work...a little fiddling and oil later I've got my 2 speeds back.

A little scrubbing to get the rust off the chrome...

And with that I'm off into the sunset!

All is going well until I hit a big bump and my back tire shifts and wedges itself up against the body. I was afraid of this. It had happened several times last season after the damage happened and I had to start carrying a wrench to fix it on the go. In my excitement however I failed to bring the trusty wrench.

Its a 15 minute walk back holding the rear end up and walking the thing as I try to make it back for a quick repair in the fading light. Just as the the sky has lost all orange and turned deep blue I finish the repair and hop back on and speed off. If it doesn't fully look like I'm smiling in this picture its because it's damn hard to take a picture of yourself when you're biking up a hill.

OK so I didn't quite make it out before dark and I had no light, sorry kiddies I'm a bad role model I guess, but what can I say, you don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me I'm a loner, just a rebel and his bike.